You Will Soon Receive a Fortune (Cookie).

The title is an actual fortune I received inside a fortune cookie once. I insisted that the waitress give me another one, as this was clearly a gyp fortune — thus making it come true. The other day I found a couple of fortunes in my wallet; ever since I came back from China, I eat Chinese takeout a lot.

It occurred to me that this blog would be an excellent place to record my favorite fortunes for posterity’s sake, rather than keeping them tucked away here and there, only to randomly discover them again and throw them out or tuck them away again somewhere else. So without further ado, the two inhabiting my wallet, as of late:

A good time to start something new.

Heh, that’s a spooky one. I got that about two months ago, when I first fomented an idea about going to graduate school to get a MFA in photography, and what I would have to do to get there …

You have a natural grace and great consideration of others.

Um, yeah. This is proof that fortunes in cookies are bogus; that one is outrageously laughable. I’m a bull in a China shop, the antithesis of poetry in motion, believe me. As for empathy — I’ve been told by (former, I should note) girlfriends that I’m more sensitive to their needs than the average bear. I would counter this by pointing out that I’ve never gotten out of a relationship on friendly terms. … I suppose if I care about someone I can be empathetic, but generally I’m pretty self-centered. I strive to live by the Golden Rule – I don’t purposefully act like a dick, usually — but then I believe that is inherently selfish to begin with, when one breaks it down. Anyway, as far as relationships go, I suspect when my dopamine and norepinephrine levels return to normal, as does my serotonin, the sensitivity goes out the window, I’m guessing.